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guardanddance:

If you already have awkward and bad tan lines from band camp clap your hands

*clap clap*

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empresspinto:

valkubus:

mycroftsbooty:

shslspookyscary:

adropofred:

comment s’appelle un chien qui vend des médicaments?

un pharmachien

why the fuck is this joke in french and why there is 26k notes am i missing something important

something really important

what do you call a dog that sells drugs?

a pharmacy

yeah it’s really only funny in french

(via reichenbachtrip)

(via a-study-in-jawn)

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Quote
"

What if
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter

What if
women were the ones who started wars

What if
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly

What if
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun

What if
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs

What if
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis

What if
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands

What if
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes

What if
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons

What if
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
with socks
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
or
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
or
“The truth about impotence”

What if
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”

What if
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job

What if
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running

And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.

"

For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl. 

She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.

(via archangvl)

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT

(via sulfurkitten)

(Source: waxenneat, via weeping-angels-take-the-ponds)

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surveyssurveyssurveys:

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? 
Yes

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
Not for 7 months

3. Have you taken someone’s virginity? 
The same who took mine

4. Is trust a big issue for you?
I’d say yes

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? 
I have

6. What are you excited for?

Being able to drive

7. What happened tonight? 
Practice, practice, practice

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? 
Do what ya want

9. Is confidence cute? 
Sure

10. What is the last beverage you had? 
Water

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 
One

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? 
Probs, idk its summer

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? 
My fair date got cancelled, so nothing 

14. What are you going to spend money on next? 
Either dinner of the boy

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? 

I am

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? 

For sure

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? 

Uhhhh, I dont really have someone like that

18. The last time you felt broken? 

Today, but last thursday especially 

19. Have you had sex today? 
Nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything? 
Maybe

21. Are you in a good mood? 
Im in a blank mood

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? 
Bring it

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

I dont know

24. What do you want right this second? 
The boy not to leave again

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Depends on more details, but i dont stay with cheaters

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? 

Ya know it

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? 
Nah brah

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? 
A comment made during rehearsal

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? 
Definitely

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? 
Not everyone

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? 

Not at all

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? 
They do

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? 
I seldom do

34. Listening to?
Pandora, Sam Smith radio

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? 
For school

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
Yes

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nope

38. Who did you last call? 
Step dad

39. Who was the last person you danced with? 
Friend at practice

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? 
Cause I waned to

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? 

months ago thank goodness

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? 

Nah

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? 
Who hasnt

44. Do you tan in the nude? 
I havent but i want to

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? 
Never

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? 
Almost every night 

47. Who was the last person to call you? 
The boy I believe

48. Do you sing in the shower? 

sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car? 
No

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? 
Yes

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Not in my memory abilities

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Love em

53. Is Christmas stressful? 
im a teen, so not yet

54. Ever eat a pierogi?
what?

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? 
Apple

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
dancer, astronaut, singer

57. Do you believe in ghosts? 
I do

58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? 
Not really

59. Take a vitamin daily?
nope

60. Wear slippers? 
noooooooooo

61. Wear a bath robe? 
nooooooo

62. What do you wear to bed? 
t-shirt and undies

63. First concert? 
Flyleaf

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? 
Im cheap, wal mart

65. Nike or Adidas?
nike 

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? 
cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? 
i knew you were trouble ig

69. Ever take dance lessons? 
for 11 years

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? 
Politician is something he likes i think

71. Can you curl your tongue?
yup

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
no

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
not that i know

74. What is your favorite book?
The Name of the Wind

75. Do you study better with or without music? 
Usually without

76. Regularly burn incense?
not at all

77. Ever been in love? 
Yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

american authors

79. What was the last concert you saw? 
American Rejects 

80. Hot tea or cold tea?
If its sweet than cold

81. Tea or coffee? 
coffee 

82. Favorite type of cookie?
chocolate chip

83. Can you swim well? 
yes

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? 
yes, but i dont like too

85. Are you patient? 
not really

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
probs a dj

87. Ever won a contest?
i think so

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
no

89. Which are better black or green olives?
ew

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? 
if ya wanna do it, do it

91. Best room for a fireplace?
living room

92. Do you want to get married?
I do

(via daleyprophet)

Tags: d about me
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itsgayerinenochian:

satans-ghost:

Do you ever get like super vulnerable late at night that you just want to spill your heart out and say how you feel because you’ve been holding it in for so long and you just need some ventilation and there’s just something about two in the morning that makes me lose my filter and say the things I would never have the guts to say when the sun is up.

the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

(Source: mingdliu, via weeping-angels-take-the-ponds)

Photoset

michaelsgavin:

"We blow each other—"
"Up! Up!"
"We don’t blow each other… only on Fridays."

(via roosterteethsbest)

Photo

One of the best things Gus Sorola has ever said. (x)

One of the best things Gus Sorola has ever said. (x)

(Source: jroleheyman, via roosterteethsbest)

Quote
"Claiming there is no other life in the universe is like scooping up some water, looking at the cup and claiming there are no whales in the ocean."

Neil deGrasse Tyson in response to “Aliens can’t exist because we haven’t found them yet” (via we-are-star-stuff)

(Source: unusual-entities, via theappleppielifestyle)

Quote
"Date someone who is interested in you. I don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. I mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. Someone who wants to read every word you write. Someone who wants hear every note of your favourite song, and watch every scene of your favourite movie. Someone wants to find every scar upon your body, and learn where each one came from. Someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. There is a difference between attraction and interest. Find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are, and hold onto them."

— Anonymous (via blackbruise)

(Source: stayy-for-tonight, via areyoutryingtodeduceme)

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jesseplnkmvn:

today i was in hot topic with my mom and there was a bra with Simba on it so I asked her “want a lion king bra?” she said “why would i?” so I put it in front of my chest and said “hakuna ma tatas” she had to leave the store she was laughing so hard.

(Source: markkruffalo, via findawaytoshine)

Quote
"You can be in a relationship for two years and feel nothing; you can be in a relationship for 2 months and feel everything. Time is not a measure of quality; of infatuation, or of love."

— What my relationships have taught me. (via lozzat)

(via shmeggles345)

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heathers-rivera:

puppy is understandably confused about everything in life

(via timeless-endgame)

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dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

(via goregeousity)

Photoset

buffysummersofficial:

I die every time

(Source: sandandglass, via elise-love)